Mr. Picasso Goes To The Youth Hostel
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Graeme Hefner's LiveJournal:
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| Thursday, December 31st, 2009 | | 7:11 am |
| | Tuesday, December 8th, 2009 | | 2:28 pm |
Life Logging
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
Travis IRL: I wonder what these ’20s will be like.
Graeme IRL: I don’t care what they’re like, I’m sleeping with a flapper. | | Sunday, November 29th, 2009 | | 1:26 am |
In the dead of night
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
It’s surprising what you can be okay with at one o’clock in the afternoon and be haunted by at one o’clock in the morning.
But come! Let us not speak of serious things I swore to not discuss here until they were firmly dealt with. Let us instead talk of the amount of money sunk into this monstrosity:
Baneslayer, in the upper right corner, is worth a median $50 on her own. There are four of her in the deck. Luminarch, my own personal creation I was playing before this, used her and Elspeth with Day of Judgements to make peasants tremble. This tosses in pretty much every other card in standard worth anything.
I’m playing a very different game than when I was 13, that’s for sure. If we work out the median value of the deck as of the exact instant of this writing, counting only cards worth over $1 as a single, we come up with:
- Baneslayer Angel (4): $200
- Emeria Angel (4): $20
- Knight of the Reliquary (4): $36
- Noble Hierarch (4): $56
- Ajani Goldmane (1): $10
- Elspeth, Knight-Errant (3): $99
- Maelstrom Pulse (3): $63
- Martial Coup (3): $15
- Gargoyle Castle (1): $2
- Path to Exile (4): $24
- Marsh Flats (3): $42
- Sunpetal Grove (4): $36
- Verdant Catacombs (4): $68
- Day of Judgment (2): $26
- Luminarch Ascension (3): $12
- Total: $709
Now, thankfully, that’s not the amount I’ve paid to assemble this, as I’ve been very lucky (or skilled, if you want to give me some credit) lately about getting things before they exploded in value, as well as yanking a few things from packs and trading well. I also sold all my Lotus Cobras while they were $30 each because I hate that card and I knew it’d drop like a stone. If you’re extremely foolish and accept those prices as what you’d get for liquidizing your collection, and you add in my winnings from tournaments, I’m actually pretty close to dead even in money spent on Magic vs money gained. A good chunk of that is squarely on Ms. Walletslayer’s back.
Still, I can’t help but wonder what the 12 year old who was so thrilled to have four Serra Angels would think if he knew that he’d be sleeving up a deck perilously close to being worth four digits a decade and a half later.
And now I’m just begging to be mugged. I need to get a rider on my insurance… | | Thursday, November 19th, 2009 | | 8:34 pm |
That thing was huge!
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
I heard Kalya meowing so I opened the door absent-mindedly to feed her, only to find an opossum three times her size sitting at my feet. He seemed rather nonplussed by the whole thing. My back yard is becoming ridiculous. | | Sunday, October 11th, 2009 | | 7:27 pm |
Groooooan
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
So this was a wasted week. I missed three days of work for my first cold since 07 and I hated every minute of it. The only tangible side benefit was that I got to watch a whole lot of baseball. Convenient division series triple headers! It’s too bad they don’t play in months other than October. They should look into that. The six months of practice before the season starts is a bit much.
So about my previous post: Yes, I won the local pre-release for Zendikar 5-0. I’ve also won my last two 8-man drafts. Apparently I’m on something of a limited streak right now. Constructed, not so much: I found out on Friday that I can’t play Magic on cold medicine. Who knew?
Nashville soon. Right now I can’t wait to get back to work, sad as that sounds. Cabin. Fever. | | Sunday, September 27th, 2009 | | 1:31 am |
| | Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009 | | 1:27 pm |
ZOMG FLOOD
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
For the record, we have all survived the Atlanta floods of death. I did have a roof leak, however. A.w.e.s.o.m.e. | | Sunday, September 20th, 2009 | | 12:47 am |
Friday Night Good Deed
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
So on Friday I beat a guy who had a fifth edition Manabarbs in his sideboard. I asked about it because I had never seen the art before, since fifth edition was in my 13-year hiatus. He said he really preferred the old and the new art better, but he had this one around to use as his fourth, and he’d really like to find a foil of the new art around.
Since I had just beaten him, and being the nice guy I was, I offered to trade him a pack-fresh foil Manabarbs from my binder in exchange for his slightly played ancient white-bordered fifth edition one. Foil Manabarbs is worth like a dollar anyway, so why not make someone’s day in an uneven trade? | | Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 | | 1:32 am |
Dear iTunes
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
When I’m trying to correct the capitalization of something in an ID3 tag, don’t continually try to auto-’correct’ it back to the old, improper version no matter what the hell I do. This makes a process that takes less than a second for a touch typist require actual effort.
Dear Apple Software Team: Fuck you. Seriously? Who the hell thought this was useful? | | Tuesday, September 15th, 2009 | | 10:13 am |
False Demise
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
Yesterday afternoon a vote on our mailing list officially christened our Magic team with the moniker “False Demise.” I’m not sure a more appropriate name, or flavor text, exists.
Also, I’m pretty sure no more Magic features will be coming. I just don’t have the urge to write them. I have the urge to write something again, but I’m not sure what yet. Maybe I’ll finally make my long awaited return to fiction? It’s a curious question.
The other possibility is a weekly ‘column’ on my own blog about my personal thoughts. I need some kind of excuse to put fingers to keyboard. | | Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 | | 11:13 am |
My Own Summer of Magic: Prelude
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
It’s not secret that I’ve been working on a feature about my return to the world of Magic: the Gathering. The Glorious Hobby calls all of its children home at some point; some of us merely resist longer than others. What has been a secret is how hard it has been to put pen to paper. I don’t usually get writer’s block, but I’ve been stuck at the same point. And with each delay there is so much more to cover.
It all started with that bastard Billy Todd, Attorney At Law. Thirteen long years had passed since my last game of Magic when he, of all people, finally managed to bring me back into the fold. It was slow going at first, but since then, oh so much has happened.
I’ve won a Magic 2010 prerelease tournament, I’ve done well in many drafts and tournaments, I’ve bough booster boxes. A whole slew of people have fallen to the urges again. Our weekly meeting at Super Games for the Friday Night Magic tournament has expanded to where we command our own 8-person table. These are all things I want to tell you about.
But I can’t. For some reason, I can’t write it all out, at least as a narrative. So I’m moving my goalposts. I’m going to write mini-stories, slices of life, from these events. At this point I feel that it’s better to get something out than nothing at all. Much as my life story is told on Jux in various out-of-order snippets, so shall the story of my return to Magic be told, with much the same cast of characters.
We’ll see in a day or two if this is any more successful. | | Saturday, August 29th, 2009 | | 10:16 pm |
Still here
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
There’s so much to write about that I’m actually backlogged. You see, the most Juxable thing going on lately has to do with a game we’re all playing, but I swore I’d do the feature on it right. Naturally this means I don’t sit down and actually do it and it’s now a horribly, horribly delayed series of features. Yes, I said series, as it is far too extensive to be a single-page document.
Some day, I promise. Some day. | | Monday, August 24th, 2009 | | 10:27 am |
| | Wednesday, August 12th, 2009 | | 1:56 am |
Forgetfulness
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
During my insomnia tonight I re-watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for the first time in a few years. Most of my memories of this movie had devolved into bra-less Kirsten Dunst in a tank top jumping on a bed. Good times.
I’d forgotten how beautifully shot this movie is. I’d also forgotten that, like I’m sure many a nerd out there does, I self identify with this movie somewhat.
I’m haunted by memories. While I’m often, even usually, content with my life, and down-right happy a good bit of the time, there’s always the memory of the fact that I’ve felt more. Like Joel and Clementine on the frozen lake in the movie, I’ve had those moments of pure bliss where nothing else in the world matters. Everything else is gone, and you’re just…there. Your life is filled.
I have a card to remember one by, and a photo to remember another. But mostly I remember that both are gone. This is what ruins me emotionally. I know my life is awesome. Most of the time these thoughts are the farthest things from my head. But at night, when the mind is supposedly at rest, they creep forth from the shadows of the room.
Or maybe I’ll catch a memory in the way someone touches someone else while I’m out.
I take to emotions, and how to handle them, very naturally. I’m unflappable but not to the point of being a cold automata. I’m not the best shoulder to cry on but I’m empathic enough to understand, if not console.
But when it comes to chasing those moments, all of that checks out, and I’m a fish out of water. That blissful is like the ocean to me. I know it’s there, somewhere, and every part of me cries out for it to live. Even knowing something will end badly, knowing something can never work in the long term, in this one part of my life I’ll throw it all away just to feel like I can breathe that little while. And when it ends, I’ll have another memory, another souvenir, to keep me awake at night, wondering where, when, or even if I’ll ever find it again. | | Friday, July 24th, 2009 | | 6:45 pm |
The Loss of Innocence
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
(7:31:12 PM) Kelley Sosebee: your friends would list boys, and jobs, and salaries, and other random life-related things. Then you draw a swirl, count the loops, and then you count through the lists crossing out that number as you go. So, whatever you have left is who you are going to marry, what kind of house you’ll have, and job, etc
(7:31:47 PM) Graeme Hefner: huh
(7:31:57 PM) Graeme Hefner: I never experienced such a thing
(7:36:02 PM) Kelley Sosebee: i think it was more of a girl thing to do
(7:36:57 PM) Graeme Hefner: Sure, but this must have never fallen into the hands of the boys, like the fortune tellers inevitably did :D
(7:37:51 PM) Kelley Sosebee: the little folded paper things?
(7:37:56 PM) Graeme Hefner: Oh yeah
(7:37:59 PM) Graeme Hefner: Those were great prizes
(7:38:03 PM) Kelley Sosebee: i can’t remember how to make them :(
(7:39:04 PM) Graeme Hefner: Surely there must be guides on the internet now.
(7:39:14 PM) Graeme Hefner: Which actually reduces some of their mystique, come to think of it.
(7:39:29 PM) Graeme Hefner: There was always that one girl that knew how to make them but wouldn’t tell the others. It was her secret. Her power.
(7:39:49 PM) Kelley Sosebee: hah! Everyone knew how to make them when i was in school
(7:40:12 PM) Graeme Hefner: It eventually gets that way
(7:40:29 PM) Graeme Hefner: Everyone could make them by 5th grade or so, even the alternative chicks.
(7:40:38 PM) Graeme Hefner: but in first grade? Only Julie Sexton and about four others could do it.
(7:41:29 PM) Kelley Sosebee: oooh, so everyone wanted to be her friend. Let’s go hang out with the girl who can make the folded paper things
(7:41:44 PM) Graeme Hefner: Yep
(7:42:03 PM) Graeme Hefner: The guy equivalent was the one kid who could make the badass delta-wing paper airplanes
(7:42:08 PM) Graeme Hefner: Now there’s the internet for that
(7:42:46 PM) Kelley Sosebee: yeah, my paper airplanes always sucked
(7:42:53 PM) Graeme Hefner: Mine to
(7:42:55 PM) Graeme Hefner: To this very day
(7:43:00 PM) Graeme Hefner: My only secret was putting a paperclip on the inside | | Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 | | 1:48 pm |
MY LAWYER SAYS IT’S OKAY
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
(2:35:25 PM) Graeme Hefner: Who is Erin Andrews?
(2:35:56 PM) Billy Todd: wow I hate you so much
(2:36:26 PM) Billy Todd: You know about Sam Raimi’s station wagon but not Erin Andrews?
(2:36:32 PM) Graeme Hefner: I see. ESPN. The only thing I ever watch on ESPN is MMA Live.
(2:36:44 PM) Graeme Hefner: And that’s only ESPN online.
(2:36:59 PM) Graeme Hefner: Her existence is not even vaguely relevant to my interests in my life, which don’t include things that are boring.
(2:37:30 PM) Billy Todd: . . .
(2:37:32 PM) Billy Todd: Erin
(2:37:34 PM) Billy Todd: Andrews
(2:38:00 PM) Billy Todd: A GIS should make plain why this is epochal news
(2:38:34 PM) Graeme Hefner: She’s not bad looking, I just fail to understand why I was expected to know who she was ;)
(2:38:46 PM) Billy Todd: I dont watch ESPN either
(2:39:32 PM) Graeme Hefner: Then how did you know who she was?
(2:42:33 PM) Billy Todd: I am aware of many high-profile smoking hot females
(2:42:40 PM) Billy Todd: who’s primary product I do not consume
(2:42:54 PM) Billy Todd: example: musicians
(2:43:03 PM) Graeme Hefner: She’s not hot enough for me to know of her just because she’s hot.
(2:43:07 PM) Graeme Hefner: Like, say, this broad: Alizée
(2:43:10 PM) Billy Todd: That
(2:43:13 PM) Billy Todd: is why you fail
(2:43:20 PM) Billy Todd: EA is hotter than Alizee
(2:43:28 PM) Billy Todd: Alizee smokes
(2:43:41 PM) Billy Todd: I know she smokes because she is French
(2:43:41 PM) Graeme Hefner: Yeah probably, but she never got mentioned to me just for being attractive until this conversation
(2:43:57 PM) Graeme Hefner: Yeah, Alizee and I can never have a relationship because of that.
(2:44:05 PM) Graeme Hefner: Neither of them are my type.
(2:44:07 PM) Graeme Hefner: Not cute enough.
(2:44:22 PM) Billy Todd: sharp knees and all that
(2:44:27 PM) Graeme Hefner: No, you misunderstand.
(2:44:37 PM) Graeme Hefner: Cute is not meant to be synonymous with attractive there.
(2:44:47 PM) Billy Todd: no I know what you mean
(2:45:08 PM) Billy Todd: You are a Zooey Deschanel man
(2:45:42 PM) Graeme Hefner: Yeah.
(2:45:50 PM) Graeme Hefner: I’m “waiting for Evanna Lynch to be 18″ style ;)
(2:46:07 PM) Billy Todd: hah
(2:46:16 PM) Graeme Hefner: Because it’s a paedophilic to even admit that people under 18 are attractive. It’d be wrong.
(2:46:23 PM) Billy Todd: your time is coming
(2:46:26 PM) Billy Todd: in about 3 weeks
(2:46:35 PM) Graeme Hefner: I’d give up Emma Watson for that one, maybe.
(2:46:42 PM) Billy Todd: whatever
(2:46:44 PM) Graeme Hefner: Only problem is she’s Welsh.
(2:46:52 PM) Billy Todd: Lynch is legal in Georgia
(2:47:02 PM) Graeme Hefner: Good enough for me.
(2:47:04 PM) Graeme Hefner: Still Welsh though.
(2:47:13 PM) Billy Todd: you can have sex with her, you just can take pictures of her naked | | Monday, July 13th, 2009 | | 12:16 am |
[Intermission]
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
As I’ve chronicled before, when I was younger I used songs and song lyrics as a sort of short hand for conveying emotion.
This is not because I don’t know how to write these things out myself. Rather, it’s because I have a tendency to be far, far too honest when I do. Sometimes when I’m still in the heat of the moment. Right now I’m rather angry, for instance.
Should I be? I don’t even know if I should be, honestly. That lack of confidence is why I won’t write about it. Instead, I’ll traipse back a decade and give you this.
All I do
I can still feel you
Hear your call
Underneath it all
Kill my brain
Yet you still remain
Crucified
After all I’ve died
After all I’ve tried
You are still inside
If you couldn’t figure it out by now, The Fragile is by far my favorite NIN album. I wonder…why…
“I wanted this album to sound like there was something inherently flawed in the situation, like someone struggling to put the pieces together. Downward Spiral was about peeling off layers and arriving at a naked, ugly end. This album starts at the end, then attempts to create order from chaos, but never reaches the goal. It’s probably a bleaker album because it arrives back where it starts—[with] the same emotion.”
| | Sunday, July 12th, 2009 | | 12:34 pm |
There was some…Magic.
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
One thing I forgot to mention yesterday during all of the UFCness is that I won the local Magic 2010 Prerelease, restoring at least a modicum of confidence to my Magic playing ways. I’ll be writing a feature about that soon. I also have another feature already ready, one that’s epic and that Kenny and I came up with last Friday (the 3rd) at Six Flags, but I’m holding on to that one to polish it a bit.
Now then, on to the destruction of a twit!
Do you think Bisping regrets calling Hendo old and slow? | | 12:31 am |
HENDO
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
And he wins it with one of the best KOs I’ve ever seen. Bisping was out with punch one, and Hendo leapt into the air and landed with all of his weight on his fist, on Bisping’s face.
In other news, GSP proved again that he’s nigh unbeatable, and Mark Frickin Coleman won a fight. | | Friday, July 10th, 2009 | | 9:14 pm |
UFC 100
Originally published at The Jux Entente. You can comment here or at our Forum.
I’ve said it before, but Hendo has the best staredowns in the business. Everyone else tries to be as badass as possible. Hendo already knows he’s a badass, and isn’t afraid of shit, so he just laughs, smiles, and jokes the whole time. I’m pretty sure Bisping will need surgery to remove his foot from his mouth after this fight.
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